"Okay" was all I could answer. With that we put our cups down and the four of us got up and we followed Edna down to her basement sex room and I knew the "other things' was going to involve at least whippings. We were all still naked and as we moved to the center of the room, Edna looked at me, "You know what we do to you here" she said, "Well, now you'll get to do more of that to our two girls here" she added pointing to Joan and Debbie Taking Joan by the arm, she moved her over to the x board up against the wall and proceeded to place her hands in the wrist restraints, stretched her arms out and tied them to the upper parts of the x and moved back. Walking over to the wall of whips, she then took down a multi-faceted leather whip and brought it over to me. "Now you can get to enjoy the feeling of whipping another whore" she said to me as she handed me the whip. I had been whipped previously by Edna and Bob both, but never returned the favor on another woman. Edna guided me over. Like Mom in Hawaii, they were white men who sexed me, the Asian whore.I continued mulling over my life and convinced myself, what was not true, was. I was a bitch, whore, worthless, good only for sexing and believed it.I'm no different than the Asian bar girls dancing naked on a stage, selected by number. My stage is different but like them, I'm called by a number, my phone number. No, they dance for survival, facing the horror of what they must do to survive. Me, I dance because I want on the stage. That's who I am, a dancing whore on the meat market stage.Convincing myself I was just a sex object, my esteem plummeted to my late teenage years. At least then I had innocence. My esteem reached its nadir.William’s love is right; I’m a bitch whore, used for screwing then dumped. No man loves me, none ever did.I sobbed my revised history alone and drank to numb the pain of her virulent, poisoned dart. I got a prescription for sleep, another for anxiety. I drifted into the numbness of.
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